Sorry, Can’t Write My Novel Today – No Time. Ooh – Brownies?

Day 11.

Relatively quick blog post. I’ve never written one at 9am before and it’s making me feel fuzzy.

So, 10 days ago I promised I’d be blogging about writing my novel from now until the end of the year. It was all very climactic, and I’ve since had dozens of people randomly tweet/facebook/walk up to me and say ‘Oh, I saw you’re writing your first novel – how’s it going?’ After about a million of the same query, to which I can only reply ‘Oh, yeah, it’s… great! I haven’t actually written any more of it yet though’, my soul has started seeping out through my ears.

It’s hard to write a novel when you’re working full time. Especially when ‘full time’ doesn’t mean 35 hours a week, it mostly means closer to 45 hours a week – six days, overtime, OH AND my colleagues happen to be the best people on the planet and they WILL drag me out for the night at least once a week. Damn them.

On top of the ridiculous work schedule, I’m also my worst enemy. I think I can manage more than I can, and this tends to lead to far too many nights out a week with all my weird and wonderful friends, and then when I’m home I tend to be:
1. Reading – this week it’s Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus – simply because it’s one of those books everyone seems to have read and it’s been sat on my bookshelf looking pitiful for far too long. And I sort of love it a bit.
2. Baking – last week it was scones with jam and clotted cream. The week before it was my Mama’s AMAZING chocolate walnut brownie recipe. And I’m eyeing up a Banoffee Pie recipe my Mama created with a sense of impending doom/scoffing.
3. Shopping – I’ve had a bit of a craze for clothes the past couple of months. This week I have brightened my wardrobe with a pair of genuine vintage shades (picture to follow), this dress from Miss Selfridge:

and this aviator jacket from H&M:

AND I’ve beaten my fear of hats (they look so great on everyone else but I’m utterly clueless about how to wear them!) and bought no less than three beauties from Accessorize (merci pour le birthday vouchers, famille)- all of which I got the nice lady to show me how to wear properly. Yes. I’m pathetic. She thought I was hilarious. I’m not sure how I feel about this.

So there we have it – clothes (darned fabulous clothes, but still), books and brownies – all hugely important aspects of my life, but not ones that I feel should really be overshadowing my writing. Especially not when I have such a tight deadline, and only 5,000 words to play with so far. I did manage a couple of thousand words on my only day off last week, but I’m supposed to be writing 6,000 words a week from now until Christmas. Massive, huge, scary YIKES.

I just need to work out how to balance work, novel and life. And I also need to work out how to be less terrified of sitting down to write, because clearly I’m just avoiding it because I’m scared I’ll fail. There, I’ve wasted time psychoanalysing myself now as well. Bravo, LJ.

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